Until now.

I had an assortment of papers and knick-knacks in a box that has been stored away for years, in my mom's attic. I decided to take a peek today.
Sometimes it's nice to revisit your past just to see how things have changed, how far you have come. This is the first things that I came to.
I remember reading this as a young teenager, over and over again. It was my favorite. So I kept it. It's funny, there were several times that I thought this applied to whomever was in my life at the moment, as long as I added a few things and omitted others. Until now.

I suppose he beat me to it, but I could have written this myself.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments that life has thrown at you.
When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk  become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid its like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems to be part of daily like where before it was infrequent, or barely existed at all. A phone call or two during the day helps you get through the longest of days at work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there is no need for continuous conversation, but you find you are quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so unbelievably special to you. You think of them on every occasion and in everything that you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.
 You open your heart knowing that there is a chance it may get broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing that you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate, who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.
Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
-Bob Marley

come in.

     For years, I have loved writing my life out on paper. I have journal after journal, each pertaining to a particular place in my life. Some of them are more like daily itinerary's while others are the deepest most inner-workings of my mind and heart. I suppose there is no right way to journal.
     I find that I regret every memory I didn't physically write down. I'm not sure if it is because reading them "jogs" my memory and takes me back to a place I had forgotten, or if it is the instant satisfaction of seeing my hand write out each detail. I think it's absolutely romantic to read someones handwritten thoughts. It takes you to that place, that moment that was so important to their being, almost hearing their voice speak the words as you read them. You can touch the pages that they touched and instantly, you can feel their energy come through those pages as strongly as if it were your own. Tell me another way to really feel and understand someone. I think that takes the cake.
     Even tho I would much rather write all of these occurrences in leather-bound books with thick aromatic pages, I've found it hard to actually write as much as I would like in the realm of motherhood. And while I have little time to write, blogging on the go, may just be my best option.
     So here it goes. My thoughts are very .... eclectic, with no rhyme or reason. There is no preparation, no well thought-out ideas to build on. Just my gypsy soul spilling out into a seemingly mad smorgasbord of thoughts.

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."  ~Vladimir Nabakov